Its been decided. I only sneeze when I’m going to or at work. I am allergic to my job.
That’s fine, it sucks anyways. But for real tho. I’m fucking done with this getting up at 3am bullshit.
Wore a short dress out. Got my car emission tested, bought wax supplies and a bucket from home depot.
The girl who did my emission test was kind, we shared a few jokes. The guy behind me in the lines gaze made me uncomfortable.
Getting waxing supplies, you could wear a trash bag and these guys would treat you with an unbelievable amount of respect as long as you were nice.
Then home depot. No one came near me. I got a double take from every dude and one stumble and when I approached someone to ask where the damn buckets are I was spoken to like the longest word I know is me. Mind you I know more about construction that at least 80% of the males I know.
I don’t actually get the point to anything. Like what the fuck is the point of my life and existence. If this is it then there’s no point to anything. Why have kids if they’re just going to be stuck in shitty job after shitty job just because you wanted another one of you around. Why bring another person onto this almost ruined planet to have just as much if not more uncertainty of self and purpose than myself. If this shitty job and debt and what feels like a somewhat decent relationship are it then I don’t see a fucking point anymore. Maybe I’ll feel different tomorrow. Maybe I won’t. This just feels too monotonous and terrible to seriously be all that’s anticipated from life.
My brain doesn’t seem to want to let me study. Cosm. Chem. test Monday and I want to cry. I want a break already. From it all, school, work, life. March 17, I cannot fucking wait for you.
Haven’t done my hair yet but can we have a fierce brow and how the right size bra make my boobs look phenomenal appreciation post?
Also, will this headache away, its killing my vibe and I’m not okay with that. Oh! I get to leave this god forsaken city for the weekend soon!
While I have no luck right now with spas, I don’t have the greatest desire to work in a place I could never afford to stay. I love waxing, its why I’m going to school, and when I have my mock interview I’ll make sure its with a waxing facility. Something will work. I’m getting some hours added to my schedule every week for cosmetics again so that will at least be some added income.
I am still confident in myself and my abilities. I’m still going to scrimp and save so I can move out. My car will be fixed this weekend. I have a boyfriend that loves me and if I’m not confident in myself or my body he gives me reasons to be again. Life will work out how I want it to. I may be really poor for a while but who isn’t starting out?
Almost every job I’ve applied for recently has turned me down. Because that doesn’t completely effect your confidence or anything. I need a better income, I want to move out with my boyfriend but that can’t happen with what I’m doing now and with my loans. I’ve found tons of cheap places but we have to account for the dogs and that makes it harder.
So after this weekend, since we’re celebrating valentines day a week late, we’re both living poor. I really just need something to work out. Because right now it’s a low paying job with about 20-30 hours a week if I’m lucky. My car’s starter just died, too.
I just need to sell everything I own.
The struggle to stay awake for work is real right now. At least my eyebrows are great.
Large areas when I get paper strips, small areas when I have Lycon wax.
I really like doing brazilians though.
If you break your nose once it is easier to break again. Yesterday marks the third break.
What a way to end Valentine’s day.
Anyone who has one, do you normally want to punch them in the face incessantly? Or are just really fucking sick of having one and sick of all the stupid fucking twin stuff people post to you or tell you about? Because I’m a bout ready to just not talk to mine for a good while.
Helped my friend move today. Nothing will be enough of a reason to make me move.
Called out of work to have a night full of sex before I don’t see my boyfriend for a week. Compared a night full of sex to making a sad $30 after taxes… Sex won.
Then today, I bought a pair of pants on clearance with a 40% discount code from AE and now I’m going to eat cake for breakfast and later buy a collapsible fork from world market because none of my forks fit in my tupperware containers.
Thought about buying myself jewelry from Kevin Jewelers since they’re closing all their stores in AZ but I haven’t figured out if I want to be that irresponsible with my AZ tax return…. I might be.
Its really hard to seem to only date boys who think your mental illness disappears with their perfection. Its really hard to date anyone who thinks that their love will be what fixes you. It won’t be, ever in a million years. You may make them smile and love you back and give them an orgasm or two but that’s not fixing. They can most definitely be mentally ill and still smile. They can most definitely be mentally ill and build a life with you. You just have to understand that some days they can’t move. And some days they may not be able to stop crying. And some days they may be fighting to stay alive. You gotta understand that. And its not fucking up to you how they feel. 10 mins ago isn’t now and now is totally different than then. You gotta recognize that this is work. Real work and effort and potentially tears and real struggle. But their love is fucking worth it. More than anything because their love is worth their entirety. You just have to work more than you anticipated, which is never a bad thing.
Base By: Jahrenesis